Black Friday lineup at the Apple Store in New York City

Blog: Here’s Why I Don’t Do ‘Black Friday’…

I'm not cynical about it. I just don't want to stampede over people to save money while spending money.

I don’t do Black Friday.

Maybe I don’t mean that like most people mean it. I’m not bitter about it or cynical about it, although I do laugh at the photos (and videos, below) of those fools stampeding over each other – elephants, rhinos, gazelles, antelope, hyenas – so they can desperately save money while spending money.

But I laugh because they look silly. They look silly in the way an anchorman does when you see him fixing his hair in the mirror, or in the way a 20-something woman does when she’s walking in heels down cobblestone streets in Gastown.

I don’t avoid Black Friday for any philosophical reason. I don’t scoff at materialism to make a statement. I just snark at it because all people, at some point, look like they’re crazy, sometimes like they’re in complete pain and only due to themselves. And I’m happy I’m not.

And that’s why I avoid Black Friday. Physical pain.

I don’t want to wait in border lineups or wait for the doors to some department store to open.

I don’t think there’s anything out there I want that bad – at least, not something you could buy in a Macy’s.

But I don’t want Black Friday to stop. I love how crazy it is. I love how it now bleeds into Thursday, in the same way that Boxing Day sales have now become Boxing Week sales. I think the insaneness of Black Friday is enjoyable. It’s entertainment. And I don’t want my entertainment to disappear.

I enjoy the stories, too.

In 2011, I played in a Rugby Sevens tournament in a little city called New York, traveling down with friends and teammates from Toronto and London, Ontario and setting up shop at some hostel at the northern-most point of Central Park – essentially Harlem.

On Thursday, after getting back from the bar, one of my teammates took the subway at three in the morning and rode it 70 blocks south, getting out at 34th Street where, if you’ve even been to New York or watched a Christmas movie, you might know Macy’s is.

He must have waited in line, must have went inside, and must have bought a laptop. Real cheap, maybe $400. He got back on the subway, took it 70 blocks north again, and went to sleep in hostel, passing out with the laptop in the box on his chest.

When he woke up, he had no memory of the whole thing. He was that drunk. It was a hilarious story, and he had apparently been trying to buy that exact laptop for some time.

So, hey, I enjoy Black Friday.

But I enjoy it through others, and if they want to sacrifice themselves to “save” some money and give me a good story in the process, I’m not going to be the one to stop them.

Surrey North Delta Leader

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Surrey mayor denies property tax deferral motion

Councillor’s notice of motion for Surrey property taxes to be deferred until Dec. 2 out of order

Team refunds OK’d for cancelled Surrey Mayor’s Cup soccer tournament

The decision follows the amalgamation of the Central City Breakers club with Surrey Football Club

COVID-19: Daily update on the pandemic in Surrey, White Rock and beyond

April 7: Brewery starts making hand sanitizer, City of White Rock and Surrey lays off employees

COVID-19: Trudeau says 30K ventilators on the way; 3.6M Canadians claim benefits

Canada has seen more than 17,000 cases and at least 345 deaths due to COVID-19

As Canadians return home amid pandemic, border crossings dip to just 5% of usual traffic

Non-commercial land crossing dipped by 95%, air travel dropped by 96 per cent, according to the CBSA

Logan Boulet Effect: Green Shirt Day calls on Canadians to become organ donors

While social distancing, the day also honours the 16 lives lost in the 2018 Humboldt Broncos Crash

COMMENTARY: Knowing where COVID-19 cases are does not protect you

Dr. Bonnie Henry explains why B.C. withholds community names

B.C. wide burning restrictions come into effect April 16

‘Larger open burns pose an unnecessary risk and could detract from wildfire detection’

B.C. secures motel, hotel rooms for COVID-19 shelter space

Community centres, rooms reserved for pandemic self-isolation

Look at hospitalizations, not recovery stats for COVID-19, B.C. professor says

Cases in hospital are a definitive count of people who have the novel coronavirus

B.C. First Nations want to launch fight of Trans Mountain pipeline approval

Last month, the Supreme Court of Canada decided not to hear five challenges about the pipeline

N95 masks on the way for Canada after 3M reaches deal with White House

The Trump White House had ordered 3M to stop shipping masks to Canada

Most Read