An all-tomatoes edition of Roses and Rotten Tomatoes (April 30, 2015)

ROTTEN TOMATOES

. Rotten tomatoes to the mayor’s counsel for still trying to fool the public about the transit tax. Don’t believe anything these people say, because they haven’t got any credibility or the means to manage anything. It is all spin, so don’t be fooled. Vote "no."

. Rotten tomatoes to all you stoners out there who exaggerate the value of pot. Some very ill people might get some relief from their illness, but it has never been proven. The federal health minister of Canada is absolutely right on this issue.

. Rotten tomatoes to disrespectful teens who smoke marijuana in public. Not everyone wants to breathe your disgusting dope. There’s a reason pot is called dope. If I catch you lighting up in my neighborhood, you will be reported to the police. You guys and girls all need to grow up and get jobs.

. Heaps of rotten tomatoes to the classless woman who scoffed at my flash at the OWL open house in Delta last weekend. The only person in that room you might beat in an IQ test is the one who created the horrible signage, and maybe the owl itself. A word to the unwise: If you want to act superior, it helps if you actually are. My dear, you are definitely not.

. Here’s a large rotten tomato to the riders on the 502 bus in Surrey who constantly block the aisle and the rear exit doors. That’s very dangerous while the bus is in motion. If the bus is empty, move to the back and sit down. To the bus drivers who do nothing, thanks a lot.

. Rotten tomatoes to the two teenaged girls who walked past the huge lineup and onto the enviro bungee on Saturday. Everyone in line, including my four-year-old child, waited well over an hour for a turn. More rotten tomatoes to the worker who allowed them to do so.

. A large empty bag of dry, tiny, round, smelly rotten tomatoes to the woman who thinks feeding crows, pigeons, sparrows and rats, consistently on the driveway and road, is great. The crows and pigeons are nesting in nearby trees. White poop all over. Cawing all day. Pigeons nesting. They are flying into your back yard for the food you left for them. You can’t fix stupid.

. A big angry bag full of rotten tomatoes go out to ICBC for hiring the dumbest people for doing road tests. Why can’t you hire better people for once? Some of them can’t speak good English! Students like us are gonna have a really hard time passing the road test if we have people like that! Also, a big bag full of rotten tomatoes go out to my stupid driving instructor who was being such a weirdo to me while I was doing a driving lesson. I hope the driving school fires you and, that way, it will teach you a lesson to treat your new road users with more respect!

. A 10W30-coated jug of rotten tomatoes to the genius who came up with the brilliant plan to deposit his container of used motor oil in the parking area beside Fleetwoood Park, along 160th Street, on April 24, rather than take it to any one of the numerous designated used-oil collection locations in Surrey. You even cleverly left it where it was exposed to vehicular traffic. Your plastic jug was, of course, run over by a car, causing all of your used oil to be released into the environment. One litre of spilled oil contaminates one million litres of water. Your four-litre jug will therefore eventually contaminate four million litres of water. Go to Usedoilrecycling.com and type in your postal code. They will give you the six nearest used oil-collection locations. It’s that simple.

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