So let it be written...
Take that, President Trump!
No doubt, the earth will heave a mighty shake in Washington D.C. tomorrow when the Donald swears in. The epicentre of this game-changing political earthquake, of course, will be Surrey, B.C.
The Lego people will have spoken.
(Not really, because they’re made of plastic. But let’s suspend our disbelief, for argument’s sake).
CNN, get ready. It’ll be the photo coup of our young century, for whomever best captures the look on the brash billionaire’s smitten, speechless face.
In case you missed our last issue, little Lego toy figurines carrying tiny signs bearing messages like “Be Humble” (are you kidding?!) will be made to embark on an historic online “virtual march” from Surrey City Hall to the Peace Arch to deliver messages of “peace, unity and compassion” during Friday’s inauguration.
It’ll all be documented on Facebook, and Twitter — where Trump will be sure to see it.
The genius!
Artists, you might have guessed, are behind this.
Profound messaging, or flaky nonsense?
Either way, they got our attention.
You might argue this strange campaign is fittingly surreal for what has got to be the most surreal presidency in U.S. history. Not exactly the same as planting one’s feet in front of a tank or slipping the stem of a fresh flower into a soldier’s rifle barrel, but there it is.
The message behind this historic Lego-people march is “playful,” the organizers say, and not intended to be a protest or “partisan issue.”
Fine. But if not driven by politics — read displeasure with Trump’s election win — then why bother?
You can’t call it an act of civil disobedience. Trump’s not our president, but president of another country.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and wildly speculate that the good folks behind this subversive Lego block-people revolution, seeding a kind of terror known only to the likes of Gulliver, are not happy that Trump won the U.S presidential election.
We’ll see how their campaign fares. If successful, maybe Barbie and GI Joe will join their cause.
Even though we’re Canadian, not American, if we put our minds to it there are plenty of other useful actions we can perform north of the 49th parallel, during these next four years, whenever Trump does something that’s not very nice.
We can hold our breath, for one. Or refuse to eat our broccoli. Yes, that’s good.
Maybe stay up past our bedtime... not put our Lego blocks back into our toy box...
If Trump’s presidency gets truly unbearable, I mean, if we find ourselves at one tick to midnight, the world has hit DEFCON 1, there’s absolutely no hope left, and Doomsday is nigh upon us, then maybe, just maybe, it’ll be time to unleash that mother of all statements: The poopy diaper.
Sure to cause a stink.
Maybe little Lego people carrying tiny signs while virtually marching on social media sites can wear them.
Oh, wait, they can’t. Not real ones, anyway.
You see, there’s stink, and then there’s virtual stink.
The latter being not stinky at all, and therefore not very effective.
So let it be done.
See related: Sign-carrying Lego people will do 'virtual march' in Surrey on Trump inauguration date
Tom Zytaruk is a staff writer with the Now. Email him at tom.zytaruk@thenownewspaper.com