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Lawn watering now only for the elite

Surrey's new sprinkling rules mean greenery for the bourgeois, brown lawns for the proletariat.

I have received information about Surrey’s new lawn sprinkling restrictions (which have been in effect since June, apparently), and I was dismayed to see that I now need to wake excessively early in the morning to turn on my sprinkler (then wake again an hour later to move it).

With no p.m. sprinkling times, Surrey has now made watering one’s lawn an activity of the elite. Not everyone can afford the expensive automatic in-ground sprinkling systems required to completely water a lawn without waking. I’m willing to bet that whoever came up with this brilliant idea has one of these convenient in-ground automatic sprinkler systems.

It’s also worth pointing out the possibility of a conspiracy theory (for whoever wants to develop it).

I’ve got to wonder if the notices regarding the change in regulations were purposely delayed to September, a time when people are not concerned with watering their lawns. (Shame on you, water police).

As I’m coming to terms with this, I’m not sure which bylaw I’m more likely to get caught breaking: the sprinkling one because I can’t convince myself to wake at 4 a.m., or the noise one, because I did wake at 4 a.m. and woke my neighbours with my curses directed towards the City of Surrey.

 

L. Ferrier